Tim Stannard

Tim Stannard has been working as a football journalist in Madrid for the last four years. He is Football365’s correspondent in Spain and the man behind Four Four Two’s La Liga Loca Blog. Richard Martin caught up with him in Madrid in March 2011 to talk about English players in Spain, his unexpected choice of favourite La Liga player of all time and shitting in milk.

What are the pros and cons of being a football journalist?
The pros are enormous: you are getting paid to watch football. The cons are that it’s not great for your social life. On the weekend you can go out on Friday night but on Saturday night you’re either at games or watching them at home and writing about them and it’s the same with Sunday night. You can’t go anywhere on the weekends, throughout the whole season you’re working and working. You don’t get too much sleep either. People think it’s an easy life, and it is a fantastic life, but there are downsides.

A lot of people are saying that Barcelona and Madrid’s dominance is making La Liga boring, what do you think?
It is really boring. Look at the fact that a draw now is a really exciting, giant moment. When Real Madird drew last weekend away at Deportivo all the papers were going crazy, asking what on earth went wrong. Nothing went wrong, it happens in football, you don’t win every single game. When you have a situation when one team not winning a game is seen as an enormously big thing then something is seriously wrong with your league. If Manchester United got an away point at somewhere like Wigan people would say “Well ok they got a point there, it didn’t quite go their way” whereas in Spain there’s a post-mortem, there’s horror stories about it, people are saying “There must be a problem with the coach.” Everything is overblown and it is boring, it’s the same stories in the papers, the bickering between the two clubs, entertaining as that can be, is kind of boring as well. I agree it’s a duopoly and it’s not going to get any better.

Athletic Bilbao are famous for their policy of only playing Basque players. Would they be more or less successful if they started signing non-Basque players now?
I think they’d be less successful. If they opened their doors to anyone they would lose their strength, their identity and their connection with their fans. It would make them a little bit lazy. Now they scour the local area to find the best players. Admittedly they do pinch the best players from Real Sociedad and Osasuna; Javier Martínez and Fernando Llorente are from Navarra rather than from Bilbao. But it does make them focus on doing their best with what they have. Someone like Gaizka Toquero shouldn’t be a Primera player, maybe not even a Segunda player, but he’s very willing and they use him well. But it also means they will bring in players like Iker Muniain, which will be good for Spain. If they changed their policy they’d be just like any other Primera team, perhaps like Real Sociedad have become since they dropped the same policy in the early 90s. Athletic need to stay as they are, it’s a fantastic thing in football.

Which players do you admire the most off the pitch?
Guti. He’s not a La Liga player anymore and I think he’s badly missed. He had a sense of humour. Him and Piqué were good in interviews. When you get a Madrid player in an interview they’ll say something like:“I really respect Barcelona, they’re an excellent team, they’re going to be challenging us etc” and it’s really boring. Guti once said every time he watched Barcelona he wanted them to lose, and Pique is the same, he once said: “When Real Madrid are on TV I don’t even bother watching them.” I really like players that dislike other clubs and are honest about it, and I like players who say something interesting, it’s so rare to find these days. I like David Villa, he’s ever so slightly grumpy. Cristiano Ronaldo’s good fun, he winds people up, he’s entertaining. Messi is not a fascinating player off the field even though there’s a lot to admire there.

Out of all the English players to have played in Spain recently, who do you think did the best?
Probably David Beckham. People laughed at his Spanish but it wasn’t as bad as everyone thought. Michael Owen struggled to settle. Jonathan Woodgate was very popular, he did learn the language and fitted in very well on the cultural side, he had a very outgoing personality and a lot of fans miss him. Steve Mcmanaman settled extremely well but probably David Beckham was the best. I don’t think he wanted to leave. Real Madrid were going through one of their mini crises and the president at the time, Ramón Calderón, needed a scapegoat and he thought he’d pick on someone he felt the fans didn’t like, so he banned Beckham from training with the rest of the team. But the fans loved Beckham. I remember a cup game against Real Betis, I was at the Bernabéu and Beckham was up in that box in the corner and the fans were shouting to him saying “Come down, we need you” and he made a signal with his hands saying “I can’t.” Then at the next game the president said “All is forgiven, you’re back,” but Beckham hadn’t done anything wrong.

Can you see any English players going over to Spain soon?
English players are massively greedy and they’d rather sit on the bench or play for a mid-table club than try something new. They’re a little bit scared and they feel the money’s not worth it. Maybe they’ve looked at what happened to Jermaine Pennant. He struggled with the change of manager, with the language, perhaps it wasn’t the right club for him. He didn’t fit into the culture, he was driving round Zaragoza in his Porsche with a personalised registration plate. I can’t see anyone coming over in the near future which is really sad. Going to Real Madrid or Barcelona isn’t such a cultural shock and you don’t need the language as much, but you need to be technically good enough. Rooney could fit in and I used to say that Joe Cole could do it when he was at his best, he is still really admired here.

What do you prefer about the English game compared to the Spanish game and vice versa?
I still enjoy the dynamism of the English game but the Spanish game is technically better. Whenever I speak to players who’ve just arrived here I ask them: “What’s the first thing that struck you when you joined the league?” and they always say “Everyone from the left back to the reserve midfielder can play football, everyone’s got good control and a good touch.” But I do miss a bit of the blood and thunder you get from the English game and seeing some good tackles without players falling down. But both are good and I don’t think that one is better than the other.

This part of the interview is called England V Spain. I say one English thing and one Spanish thing and you have to say which one you prefer.

Fish and chips or paella?
I don’t like fish! If it’s pie VS tortilla I’ll go for pie.

Pint of lager or a caña [a small glass of beer common in Spain]?
In winter a pint, in summer a caña.

Casuals or ultras?
It depends who is less violent. There’s a bit of a fascist element to the ultras whereas casuals are more interested in just mindless violence, but really, neither.

English atmosphere or Spanish atmosphere?
English.

Pubs or cervecerias?
Pubs. But nice pubs. I spent most of my time in Brighton, so fancy pubs. A nice pub with a nice sofa and a pint

Queen Elizabeth or King Juan Carlos?
Juan Carlos is quite a funny guy and he did screw over Franco on the deal and returned Spain to democracy. So I’d go for King Juan Carlos. If you had to go for a beer with one of them the Queen would be a nightmare but Juan Carlos is quite a fun guy.

Jose Luis Zapatero [then Spanish Prime Minister] or David Cameron?
Zapatero isn’t doing a good job with the economy but having said that, I’d have him every time over Cameron.

That’s 3-2 to England. Do you prefer England to Spain then?
I prefer Spain to England. Had it been different topics like the weather or the way of life, Spain would have won.

What do you like in particular about Spain?
It’s hard to say that Spain is one country. I don’t get on with the south of Spain. It’s too hot, it’s frenetic, it’s noisy, it’s just a bit mental. And flamenco is just God awful music as well. Madrid isn’t that Spanish, its more of a business centre, it’s like London in that way. The north of Spain is my favourite area, particularly Galicia. It’s nice, it’s green, it’s quiet and it’s got nice white wine.

Now I’m going to ask you about your favourite Spanish things.

Stadium?
The Bernabéu, but when Real Madrid are not there. It’s just a fantastic looking stadium. I remember the Copa del Rey final between Sevilla and Getafe a few years ago, it was a brilliant atmosphere. The Calderon’s a dump of a stadium but when it’s an evening game and Atleti fans are a bit plastered and it gets going it’s great fun. The Camp Nou is a bit exposed and a bit quiet. I’ve not been to the new Espanyol one, I’d like to try that out. But the Bernabéu when Real Madrid aren’t there is the best.

Food?
Croquetas. I’m not a huge fan of Spanish food. The basic idea is to get a normal food product and dip it in fat for two minutes. I wouldn’t call that massively tasty. I’m more of a fan of Italian food or curry, curry is my big favourite.

Insult?
“I’ll shit in your milk” [me cago en la leche] is brilliant. It’s just baffling.

City?
Salamanca was very mellow and Santiago is very nice. Don’t go anywhere near sevilla it’s a building site and I found it very stressful. I didn’t like Barcelona either, it’s full of rats.

Favourite La Liga player of all time?
Guti. Just the concept of him. He was enormously lazy and he had this arrogance about him. He was just enormously entertaining. He was almost a one club man as well, which I like, I think he wanted to be a one club man.

This is an edited version of a longer audio interview. To listen to the full audio interview, click here